Break ups are hard! But part of life. Who would we even be if we never had a broken heart? I've learned a lot by going through these experiences myself as a teenager. And I've learned even more by watching 4 of my 5 kids go through them as well. Soren is still too young for all this stuff.
When I had my first big breakup, it felt like a death. I was unsure if I'd ever meet anyone as great as that person ever again. And later I realized, that is not how it works. I found someone who was the perfect match for me. And that other guy, he's just right for someone else.
It's okay to be angry for a bit. That's part of healing and the grief cycle. It's how we detach. And it goes away with time.
Another common theme I've noticed is the tendency to doubt if the other person was sincere in their feelings. Like did they ever really care about me? And we all think like that! It's normal and it's also just part of it. Try not to overthink it.
Lastly, we sometimes break up with people we love because the timing just isn't right. Especially when we're young! Being with the same person forever is just fundamentally not age appropriate thinking for a teenager.
And yet, for people like myself, it's very hard! Because when I care about someone, there is literally no one else. I might have been that person that would date the same guy my whole life. And I'm so glad that's not what happened! You learn so much from all the different experiences. I learned what I liked by dating. When I met Jared, I'd already had several relationships. It was helpful. I'd dated lots of people and I knew the traits that were important to me. When I met Jared, I had a greater appreciation for him because I knew what it was like dating those other guys. I loved his humor, his happy disposition, and how he was so all-in from the start.
In young relationships, we are limited in our emotional responses, thoughtfulness, communication, etc by immaturity. People get better with more experience and age--generally. So give grace and have patience.
Mom perspective: young relationships are best when they are light and fun! Serious and stressful isn't a great thing for teen brains.
But what I know is that it works out! Have faith in the process and try to not take everything personally. There are a lot of factors at play. Don't let it rock your confidence.
