La più brava Mama nel mondo/ Feste del papa

I got a letter from Elise a couple weeks ago after a freak out day.  I sent her a voice memo and told her about it, and she sent me back this letter and it really made my whole life.  I love this girl and I'm grateful she sees my flaws and loves me anyway.  She's so good at that.  She wrote one for Jared too, so they are both here: 

To prepare for conference I decided that I'm going to write someone a note every day telling them how much I appreciate them leading up to conference. And so naturally you're the first person on the list. I just wanted to thank you for how much you have sacrificed for me, literally pretty much sacrificed everything. I could not do anything without you and I wouldn't be on my mission without you either. I'm so impressed with how in tune you are with the spirit especially on matters concerning me and my well-being. That was such a big testimony to me of how close you are with the spirit and how you aren't afraid to act on the promptings that you receive. I also love how you turn to the scriptures and you turn to prayer when you have a trial or a question and that was an example for me growing up and even now when I have a question about something I would always go to you first but now that it's a little trickier I always think to pray because that's what you would've done. I think it's so cool how you're the mom that everyone goes to for everything and that all my friends would tell you everything as well Haha, partly because you were super chill and would always be on our side but also because you knew exactly who everyone would be because you had already stalked them on Instagram hahaha. Jk but i think it's so cool that one of your spiritual gifts in your patriarchal blessing is the gift of discernment and I've definitely seen you use that in my life and I think right now you're using it as well and that's really cool! One thing that one of the elders invited everyone to do in our mission was to read our patriarchal blessings with our current situation in mind to know what we need to do right now and I think that would be a cool think for you to do as well because it's a tricky situation for everyone right now. I did it and it was so cool to see how so many of those things were coming to pass again specifically in this situation when I never thought it would apply to something like this. On top of all of the cool gifts that you have and how I wouldn't be able to do anything without you, you're just a cool mom, rolling down sand dunes on your face and sledding and rollerblading all the time. You're easy and fun to be friends with and most moms aren't like that. most are pretty cute and nice but they are also pretty lame. But you're cute, nice and way cool so that makes you the best Haha. I love you so much and I miss you a lot and I hope I will be able to be just like you when I'm a mom.
Ti voglio bene!!
- Sorella Winger

Here are some quotes you might like:
"We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.”
Today, let me add that we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly."
Years ago the First Presidency proclaimed: “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.”

The Lord’s Church needs Spirit-directed women who use their unique gifts to nurture, to speak up, and to defend gospel truth. Our inspiration and intuition are necessary parts of building the kingdom of God, which really means doing our part to bring salvation to God’s children.

“How is it that a human being can love a child so deeply that you willingly give up a major portion of your freedom for it? How can mortal love be so strong that you voluntarily subject yourself to responsibility, vulnerability, anxiety, and heartache and just keep coming back for more of the same? What kind of mortal love can make you feel, once you have a child, that your life is never, ever your own again? Maternal love has to be divine. There is no other explanation for it. What mothers do is an essential element of Christ’s work. Knowing that should be enough to tell us the impact of such love will range between unbearable and transcendent, over and over again, until with the safety and salvation of the very last child on earth, we can [then] say with Jesus, ‘[Father!] I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.’ ”

Hi Dad! 

It was Fathers Day in Italy this week so I thought I would right you a little email telling you how much love you! 

I've always looked up to you so much for how generous you are whether it be when we are in a different country and you try to buy as much as you can to help them out or when you give waiters huge tips and make them cry. I'll also always remember when there was a little girl selling candy at a lacrosse game to pay for dance lessons and nobody had bought anything yet so you bought all of it and gave out the candy to everyone at the game. Another thing that I want to be like that I learned from you is how you're instant best friends with everyone! All of my friends thing you and mom are the coolest parents ever because you will talk to them like they're your friends haha, plus you remember absolutely everyone's name and face so at Costco we can never leave because you always find at least 5 people you know.

There are so many things that you have taught me that I've been able to apply on my mission all the personal development books and podcasts have really come in handy and one thing I think is so cool is that all the principles in those books are taught in some way or form by the church. But more than anything I read in the books your example of always being calm and being optimistic has helped me a ton on my mission I also love how you never get discouraged or down on yourself you just set new goals, that's something I'm still working on. Thank you so much for always being my friend, supporting me, talking with me, taking me out of school to go get Thai food and showing me random basketball highlights or videos of people singing on YouTube haha. You're the best dad ever and you could not even imagine how grateful I am for you. I love you!! 

- Sorella Winger 

Homeostasis

I told Jared the last week felt like 9/11 and the 2008 mortgage crash in a way.  It is very surreal.  I keep forgetting what is happening, then remembering again and my heart sinks again.  I'm obsessed with the news and Facebook.  Which I think primarily is because of Elise and wanting information about the situation in Italy and also about the missions.

For me the hardest part of this is knowing how this is affecting so many businesses.  I don't know anyone who has been sick so it isn't personal yet for me and hopefully it won't be.  But so many friends have small businesses, or are employees and I hate to see this negatively impact them.  It makes me super sad to think about all the many complicated employment situations that are arising because of this.  I feel like we are as prepared as we could be.  But I feel for our friends.

I also feel bad for Monet.  She worked so hard in track and lacrosse.  It is just a real bummer to practice this much and not have a season.  And then there are all the senior things.  Track, lacrosse, 18th birthday, spring break trip with friends, prom, graduation, senior trip, etc.  All likely cancelled.  Kinda sucks.

But in hindsight, I'm very grateful for what we've been able to do.  Monet has had a pretty great senior year.  Even if the last part stinks.  Nationals in cross country!  Seriously a dream come true.  We got an awesome Hawaii trip in January.  They finished first in the city league basketball.   I'm glad she got her indoor mile race (and such a great time too for a season opener, 5:22!) and also her lacrosse tournament a week or so ago which they looked so amazing.  She was voted captain again by her lacrosse team. Got into the college she wanted.  Was offered scholarships to each school she applied for, full tuition at the U, UVU, USU, and more than half tuition to BYU.  In her AP classes, she has scored really high on the practice tests so she should be set for those, and I think they are going to find a way to let the students take them at home.  So at least she can still get those credits.

Simone got to compete at Nationals too and did so well!  Something else that is really cool.  In November, Simone's old climbing coach Jon was looking for a new place to live.  Simone mentioned that we have an apartment in our basement.  We've never really thought we'd rent it out, but hearing how hard it is for people to find housing made us reconsider.  Anyway, now the climbing gym is shut down, and Simone has a coach living in our household who took her and Monet up the canyon today and taught them some stuff.  So I'm sure grateful that we are able to take advantage of all this free time and she can still climb.  Jared and I don't know enough yet about lead belay to feel comfortable with it even though we got certified.  So hopefully we can learn more from Jon.  Monet likes to climb, but never had the time before.  So now they can both go.   Simone has been wanting to homeschool all year and absolutely hates Junior High.  So she's one happy kid!

Jon also knows a ton about fixing cars and is helping Miles with his Trans Am.  Miles has been so busy working on his car this week.  It makes me happy that he's not bored at all.

Not to mention that all my husbands weird purchases are really coming in clutch right now: the bio-bidet, massage chair,  Peloton bike, Tesla, Bunker and the hugest collection of essential oils and supplements you ever did see!  Plus he works from home.  We are all set for this coronavirus.

Our yard is something that is very overwhelming to me.  I love gardening and flowers.  But we have an acre with some enormous amounts of dirt which turns to weeds pretty quick.  It is not a low maintenance yard.  Well, now we have time to work on it and to make it less maintenance.  Which is going to require lots and lots of mulch.  I've got a long list of things that we have wanted to get to but never had the time to do because we are at games all the time.  We love our games.  And I like my on-the-go lifestyle.  But I'm going to have a great yard this year!  Hopefully we will knock some big projects out.  I need to learn how to train the grapevines, prune roses and fruit trees.  I always hire everything out, but it would be good for us to learn how to do some things.

My goals for Soren right now is to spend more one on one time with him.  I bought a cheap bike and am planning to do some bikerides and work on his reading.  He loves having all the big kids home.  We got another cat because our cat Greta disappeared this winter.  The kitten is so, so adorable.  Soren is a big time cat lover so he is so happy.  We found that without a cat, we got a rodent problem out by the goat area.  They are attracted to the feed apparently.  So hopefully this little kitty gets to be a good hunter.  The dogs are pretty excited about the kitten too.  Lewis and Annie can see that it is a baby and they are so curious.  The kitten is a little afraid of them right now.  Lewis wants to lick the kitten and the kitten swatted his nose with its sharp little claws.  So we have to be kinda careful while they get used to each other.

Monet has been mourning a little bit, but also sweet with her siblings doing puzzles and playing video games.  She and I had talked about making a jeans quilt awhile back.  I think we are going to start cutting out squares tomorrow.  And I love those cute sugar cookies with the royal icing.  I think Monet would be really great at that kind of thing so we are going to try our hand at learning a couple new skills.

And lastly, Elise is really motivating all of us to be better at our scripture study and family prayer and now that we are all home all day, its easy.  Plus we get to talk to her on Sundays now too!  She gets to help with our Come Follow Me home church.  I think that is pretty special.  I'm glad that for now she gets to stay in Italy.  Everyday brings new changes.  But for now it looks like they are doing a lot of good via technology and should be okay to stay.

So while I would love to never hear the word "Coronavirus" again, I think we will learn from this.  I would love to wake up and find this was all just a dream.  But, sometimes we have to get kicked out of our little homeostasis to experience growth and with time we'll adjust and we will not be so stressed by these changes.  Just crossing my fingers that the economic fallout won't be super hard to recover from.

Corona Crazy

Well, everyone is sick of talking about it I'm sure.  But here is the update on us over here.

One minute, we're like, oh we got this!  No problem we are excited to do fun at-home projects, work in the yard and do puzzles and make quilts.

The next minute, I hate everyone.  Don't try to rally me.  I just need a minute to mourn my normal life because this seriously sucks.

But we did see some positive things this week.  Miles and Soren built a bonfire yesterday and bonded over that.  Miles taught Soren how to do a flip on the trampoline.  Simone worked in the yard all day getting her goat enclosure looking nice.  Jared got the hot tub cleaned out and I picked up dog poop for a solid hour and a half.  Haha!  Fun times!

Actually it did feel really great to be outside.  I finally knocked some things off our to-do list that we've been meaning to get to.

I went to the dump today and the line was an hour long, so it sounds like everyone is doing the same thing.

I've never been so happy to have a yard with so many flipping projects!  Staining the chicken fence tomorrow I hope if the weather is good.

Bubbling Over

So I had an interesting week.

Monday among other stressors,  I was worried about Elise and how she is coping with the 17 days in self-isolation/quarantine.  I'd read that the Italian government was changing the restrictions on the quarantine so that people could not leave their homes without paperwork stating a valid reason like work or childcare.  I hadn't talked to her in nearly a week and I was a little stressed about that.   I felt fine Tuesday morning.  But then went for a walk and talked about the effects of coronavirus nonstop with friends.  There are so many changes, we are all just trying to process it.  Came home and found out our spring break cruise that we've looked forward to for a year is cancelled.  Our doTERRA leadership retreat is cancelled.  Friends have businesses that are going to be hugely impacted.  Graduation, weddings, track, lacrosse, climbing, its all going to be cancelled and it starts sinking in.

I came home and just felt really anxious.  Like I'm using all my coping skills trying to keep a lid on the emotions that are starting to bubble over.  I felt like my emotions were a pot of boiling water and logic and reason was the lid.  But no matter how I tried to talk myself down and keep a lid on things, it was boiling over anyway.

Wednesday I got to talk to Elise, and she was perfectly happy, and it was so reassuring.  I think this whole world is in a little state of shock right now.  I hope by some miracle things get better soon.

One thing that Elise has a great talent for is seeing the humor in every situation.  Our whole family is in a fight?  She's taking notes and writing down funny quotes.  She stays pretty calm.  But I did feel validated when she told me that she was also a little stressed when she thought Monday that she couldn't go outside anymore.  Her awesome comp was reassuring her that they still could sit on the balcony and could work out inside.  Anyway, great to have a supportive person like that right now.

Here was Elise's letter:

Corona's got nothing on us! Funny thing about this corona virus thing, I thought we would have a ton of time to do random stuff like paint and actually do language study but we definitely still don't.

It's been crazy over here, lots of good things are happening.
Our mission president is the best ever, he got a Burger King crown and taped Corona beer logos all over it and sent in a video of him wearing it calling himself the Corona king haha. After that everyone in our mission united and decided to make the most out of corona and I feel like we have bonded with the mission and the members because of it. Our goal as a mission this transfer was to teach a certain amount of member lessons and we achieved a new record as a mission and our zone was able to double our record, all thanks to corona! 

Another fun thing this week is Sorella Schmidt and I are starting a pilot program for the Church! We are working with the Alpine Germany mission to make missionary advertisements to go on Facebook and Instagram which would substitute street finding (because we cant do that anymore.) It's been really fun to put together and we are excited to see how it goes! 

This week I was thinking a lot about the prayer I said before this transfer, I prayed to have experiences that will push me and help me to learn new ways to improve as a missionary. I thought my answer was being called as an STL but turns out the real answer this transfer was actually corona haha I am learning so much about being patient and being creative with missionary work! Even though it makes things tricky it really is kinda a blessing in disguise. 

One year

One year since I hugged her, less than 6 months to go until I hug her again.

Today Jared and I went to the temple to celebrate.  Figured we can do that for her.  We aren't great at attending the temple and definitely need to do it more.

My thoughts and feelings this week are really impacted by what is happening in Elise's mission.

Coronavirus is really spreading there.  So that leaves a lot of uncertainty with how that will impact the work they do.

For now they are in self-isolation basically.  They can still leave the apartment to exercise and shop.  But they are instructed to not use public transport and to stay away from people in the street.  And also teach via video chat.  This is all mainly to prevent the transmission of the virus.  For people that are young, healthy and nonsmoking, this virus doesn't seem to be too problematic.  But, there is a big threat to the elderly and immunocompromised.

In Italy the death rate so far has been 4.25%.  Thats a lot of grandmas and grandpas.  I don't like those odds.  I'm hopeful that the numbers are skewed and that they percentage is so high because there are so many that have the virus but have mild symptoms and don't know it.  Elise just served in little Treviso where her best buds were elderly people who would not do well with Coronavirus if those numbers are accurate.  Like 20% of elderly people can die.  The virus has little impact on younger people.  Not one death under 9 years old.  I'm not really worried about Elise's physical health.  But I am hoping she is doing okay with the changes, and the uncertainty.  Being in isolation and being in limbo is rough.

She had such a busy week before this all happened.  And she was just expressing how much she loved it!  Being so busy was awesome in her mind.  I wonder if being a missionary they are so focused on being productive with their time and contacting that it is tricky to shift into a totally different mode where they don't have all those same concrete things to do with their time.

She said her investigators are actually reading the Book of Mormon and they are having success meeting with people via video chat.  So that is really positive!   It probably helps that a lot of people are staying home so they aren't too busy for the reading and the lessons.  So there is some positives with the work.

The economic impact is starting to really unfold.  Elise has mentioned that people in Italy struggle to find work already.  But now, that might be even worse.  Restaurants are closed.  Museums are starting to reopen from what I heard on the news with the instructions that people stay a couple meters away from each other.  Schools are closed which is challenging for parents who work.  The stores restock their food, but it took awhile she said.

I just read last night that the missionaries in South Korea where they have about 6500 cases vs 4600 in Italy, are heading home.  Those with less than seven months are said to be heading home without reassignment.  The others have to self-isolate for two weeks before being reassigned.

That would be really hard.  I know one of the reasons Elise wanted to come right home from Italy was so that she could have that whole airport scene.  And if they have to self-isolate, it won't really look like that.  Emotionally it would be kinda hard to be home, but not really home.  Also, she was saying in February how she was sad that she only had 6 months left and how it was just Christmas and now its almost March.  She loves her mission and I know she doesn't want it to end this way.  She just got the language.  But its kind of a dream to serve in Italy, and even if it is only a year, its still pretty lucky.

So I thought about that a lot today.  But in the end, I know she's flexible and will adapt and be okay with whatever happens.  It will probably be hard though.  I hope she gets to stay in Italy.  But we will see.  If she gets to go somewhere new, that will be okay.  I read a cool story from Grandma Goddard about her mission after her husband died.  She didn't want to do a proselyting mission, but was called to one anyway.  She thought about declining the call.  But decided to take it after praying about it.  She taught a young woman with diabetes who was given the wrong diet and her blood sugar was out of control.  Grandma was a dietitian and helped her to create a new diet and get to a healthy point with her sugars.  The woman eventually went blind because of the previous issues, but she lived.  Grandma was later reassigned to a temple mission.  She knows she was sent to the first one to teach this woman and help her with her health too.  Everything happens for a reason, so it will all work out.

Fav scripture applies here:

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Some funny photos I've seen lately!  There is a comical side to all of this.  I heard that Costco was crazy busy and had no water and TP.  So I avoided it, then finally went.  There was like half as many people as usual, and plenty of water and TP.  I think everyone got scared away thinking it was going to be crazy.

When Miles starts Crafting

I can't always write about the things Miles does, sometimes they are illegal, and other times they are just secret.  But I'll just say this kid might be funny and inappropriate, but has a good heart and has done some pretty awesome things these last couple weeks.

He has a lot of interests, and Miles likes to experiment with things.  It's always amusing to me to see what he's working on because it is really random for the most part.

I came home last week and as I entered the house it smelled really strongly of bleach and Miles comes out wearing rubber gloves.  He's been wearing some old overalls that Jared bought awhile back for a pack meeting costume.  Apparently overalls are a thing at school for boys.  Like kinda funny, ridiculous thing.  But Miles thought they needed a little something.  So he decided to bleach them.

Here is the end result, I kinda like them!

He also tried the spray paint dip on a pair of sneakers.  But it didn't work so well.


This is his shoe collection.  Most of these are to resell, some are boxes from shoes he is currently wearing so that he can sell them later when he is done with them.  Its actually a pretty complicated little business.  You have to stay on top of the prices and where to buy and sell everything and strategy with his accounts so that he has better chances of getting the "drops."  He earns quite a bit from it though.

He spent all of last weekend installing the subwoofer and backup camera in his car.   He also put in new headlights that change color.  He bought some fiberglass stuff to build door panels yesterday.  He's really excited about all these modifications.  Our neighbor sees him outside tinkering on things and gave him a scooter (like the kind you drive)!  So his next project is fixing it.   His motorbike from last year got all kinds of upgrades.  Until he sawed off one of the parts to make it go faster than it was supposed to go.  But he learned a lot.

He has been such a gentleman and opens all the doors for me and is always willing to help carry stuff into the house.  If I have a big load, he just takes it and brings it in.  I love that, so sweet.  He's growing up!

We did scripture study last night and I was trying to get the kids to tell me something I could pray about for each of them and he could not be serious about it at all, but it was pretty cute anyway and he's getting there.

What Makes You Happy?

I was thinking about this today!  Its Mental Health week in doTERRA, and as I'm learning more about mental health, I thought it was a good time to reflect.

Perspective:

Hope!  I've never felt more depressed than when I wasn't sure if God existed.  I don't know how people get through hard things without faith.  I love how challenges are framed when we have an eternal perspective.  Life is about joy, but it is also about growth, compassion, etc.  And all the hard things we go through give us greater wisdom, strength and love.

Progress:

I feel my best when I am energized by a new challenge or project.  I love when I have something to work on.   When my dad died, I spent the entire next few months doing little house projects.  I created this little garden bed in my front yard and absolutely loved it.  I envisioned him helping me.

I've been tired and a little bit stressed this week about Elise and the unknowns with her mission and the Coronavirus changes.  So I've had to push through those feelings to be productive.  So last Saturday Jared and I cleaned the fridge and pantry.  I know it sounds dumb, but I got so much joy out of looking at my pantry all week.  It just felt good to see it nice and organized.  It is so worth it to start even when I don't feel like it.

One thing I have learned too is that if I need a day off, I need a day off.  I don't feel that way very often.  But usually when I feel really tired and that I just want to stay in bed, I end up getting sick shortly after if I ignore it.  I've learned to pay attention and listen to my body.

Social:

Connecting with other women is super important to me.  Working out is a good time to do that because I can multitask!  I also go to lunch with a group of friends every month.  These ladies are so funny and provide the best support and comic relief.

Outdoors:

Being outside while connecting and exercising is the very best kind of stress relief.  I don't know how to explain it.  When Jared and I were going through a difficult time financially, we took the kids up the canyon every chance we got.  I felt like my stress just melted away when we got up into the mountains or our favorite little spot the Gardens at Thanksgiving Point.  Elise had a friend who said he hadn't really been up the canyon, although he lives just 5 minutes away.  We were all just so blown away by that.  How can people not?  They must not know how good it feels.  I went sledding on Tuesday, and I laughed like a kid the whole way down.  It felt so good.

Travel:

I pretty much always have something on the calendar.  I like having a trip to look forward to!  I love the adventure and the change.  I love to plan too.  It can be just a day trip even.  But I think why I like travel is because I like change.  And it gives you a little change of scenery and a break from regular life and habits.

Easy things:
1.  Music--a good little Spotify playlist with happy songs helps my mood
2.  Essential oils in the diffuser--I LOVE my diffuser blends.  Spearmint and Orange is a favorite lately.  Lemon is always a good standard for my kitchen.  Lavender or serenity for my room.
3.  Food.  We all need a fridge with healthy food on the ready.  I really think that fresh healthy food is a big part of me feeling happy and good.  My problem is that it takes a lot of time and effort to do the planning, preparing, etc.  Haha!  But when that part is done, it feels great!
4.  When my house is peaceful and clean
5.  Hugs.  When Elise went through a tough time in high school (just a breakup but those can be hard) we would go to her room and give her family hugs and it really does help.  Once when Jared lost his job, Monet was just a few months old and I swear she was my cuddly therapy pretty much all day long.

What doesn't make me happy:

Sitting at my desk or in front of my computer.  It sucks my energy.  I feel a lack of progress, even though I use my computer for productive means, I don't feel good when I have to sit all day to get things done.   I love to write/blog and read social media, but I don't love wasting time at my computer.