I've seen this post shared on Facebook about a hundred times now. It disturbs me just a little bit the way bullying is being redefined.
http://www.faithit.com/worst-nightmare-raising-the-bully-leslie-blanchard/
We all hate bullying behavior. No one wants to be intimidated, or made to feel unsafe. But does rejection constitute bullying? No! And claiming it does is creating a whole lot of victimhood.
I have a daughter who had a cute group of friends. Most were cheerleaders, most were pretty popular at their elementary school. One summer, something happened and they decided they didn't want to hang out with her anymore. I don't know exactly why or what happened, but it was clear that in some way, avoiding her was a game to them.
Would I have wanted one of their moms to force their daughter to be her friend? No way. Because I know what a great girl I've got. And if they can't see it, its their loss.
As a kid, I wasn't one of the popular kids. And that was JUST FINE with me. And it is JUST FINE with me if my kids aren't in the popular group either.
What I did do was tell my daughter to:
1. Apologize for any wrongdoing.
2. Delete their numbers out of her phone.
3. Let them call if they wanted to be with her.
She had been offended that they were lying to her about where they were, etc. and it was making her crazy. We had a heart to heart about some other friends that she genuinely loved being with. And with these other girls there was no drama. They are good friends, kind people and a lot of fun to be with. The solution in my mind was to cultivate friendships with these girls and gravitate toward those friendships that were easy.
Two years later, she has those same good friends, plus a lot more. They are nearly drama-free. She is happy and confident. Ironically, some of her friends from the first group have started hanging out with her and her newer friends.
So my lesson to my kids is that in real life, not everyone is going to want to be your friend. And that's okay. What they think doesn't define you. And we can be proactive and cultivate friendships with people are nice to you and interested in you. To try to be friends with someone who constantly rejects you is not healthy.
I appreciate the mom in the original story wanting to be proactive and teach her daughter to be inclusive. But at the same time, there is a proactive approach to the flip side as well.
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Monday, May 16, 2016
Elise's Lone Peak Lacrosse Season
Lone Peak has had a great season this year! We started out by winning the Sevens championship by beating both AF and Park City. Then we beat out AF and Brighton for the Best of the West Title. And we lost one game to AF in the March tournament.
This season we lost two games. The first was to Herriman by one. It was a blizzard and so, so miserable. Our girls played well and were up by five. Unfortunately one ref liked to call all the penalties against us from the other side of the field and gave Herriman the free shot on their last five goals. It was a total bummer of a game. And made worse when afterward the ref was hugging the Herriman players and chilling with them in their team tent. Never seen a ref do that, it was a disturbing loss.
Second loss was to AF. We love AF players because they are our Liberty teammates. But they are also our big rivals! The game before AF two of our key scorers got hurt. One broke an ankle and the other one sprained it. We lost by two. It was such a bummer game, but we knew going into it that it would be challenging, and weren't too surprised by the outcome. AF is a good team.
So last week we got to play Herriman again in the quarter-finals. It was sweet victory when we beat them!
Here are some pictures that were posted of Lone Peak with several of Elise at UtahLaxNews.com.
The picture that looks like she is stepping on the other girls face is just a weird angle. The girl on the ground ran into Elise's back super hard. She didn't get stepped on. I love the photo of Elise's sweet goal!
This week we play Park City. Brighton got knocked out of the playoffs by Alta, who hasn't been ranked in the top five. So it was an upset for sure. We are hoping our Park City game will be like in Sevens where we had a pretty easy win! They are a good team and consistently either #1 or #2. If we win, we will play Alta or AF for the state title. Exciting!
This season we lost two games. The first was to Herriman by one. It was a blizzard and so, so miserable. Our girls played well and were up by five. Unfortunately one ref liked to call all the penalties against us from the other side of the field and gave Herriman the free shot on their last five goals. It was a total bummer of a game. And made worse when afterward the ref was hugging the Herriman players and chilling with them in their team tent. Never seen a ref do that, it was a disturbing loss.
Second loss was to AF. We love AF players because they are our Liberty teammates. But they are also our big rivals! The game before AF two of our key scorers got hurt. One broke an ankle and the other one sprained it. We lost by two. It was such a bummer game, but we knew going into it that it would be challenging, and weren't too surprised by the outcome. AF is a good team.
So last week we got to play Herriman again in the quarter-finals. It was sweet victory when we beat them!
Here are some pictures that were posted of Lone Peak with several of Elise at UtahLaxNews.com.
The picture that looks like she is stepping on the other girls face is just a weird angle. The girl on the ground ran into Elise's back super hard. She didn't get stepped on. I love the photo of Elise's sweet goal!
This week we play Park City. Brighton got knocked out of the playoffs by Alta, who hasn't been ranked in the top five. So it was an upset for sure. We are hoping our Park City game will be like in Sevens where we had a pretty easy win! They are a good team and consistently either #1 or #2. If we win, we will play Alta or AF for the state title. Exciting!
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| beautiful shot of a beautiful goal! |
Saturday, May 14, 2016
What I've learned
So the sad part about my ankle getting hurt was that I REALLY was ready to get back in shape. The day I sprained it, I had already had two good workouts (weights and then my cardio run) and I was ready to get serious.
It was a bummer to get hurt. I don't get hurt very often. But here is what I learned:
1. I really hate relying on others. Staying down is SOOOOO hard for me. I hate to ask for help. So this was challenging. But it was so necessary. I reinjured my ankle after it started getting better, and had to go back to resting. I just couldn't do it. We were too busy. Then I had a lacrosse banquet I was in charge of. And I spent two full days editing pictures and putting together a slideshow. Two full days not walking around. And VOILA, ankle so much improved. I guess rest is really important after all. And Jared was really helpful and helped with all the carpooling etc. It was so nice to be taken care of, even though I feel bad for being hurt.
2. In effort to not stand on my hurt foot and in effort to also not be a burden on my husband and still have food to eat, I ordered a bunch of cold pressed juices online and had them delivered to my house.
What a concept! Healthy green juices that were delicious and refreshing. I am glad for the discovery! We will continue to order and even found a local place that delivers twice per week.
3. There will always be roadblocks. So we just have to find ways to modify and still reach our goals. I didn't feel like I really achieved this. However, I am going to start doing TRX classes with my friends this week and I am sure I will have to modify a little bit. And I am going to bike and do the rowing machine since I can't run yet.
4. I really need to teach my kids to clean. We cancelled the cleaners for a little while. I just realized I am not doing them any favors by expecting so little out of them. We need to go back to our Monday chores on early out day.
5. I am SO thankful for my health! I cannot imagine how hard it would be to be hurt all of the time. I hate walking so slow and being so inefficient.
It was a bummer to get hurt. I don't get hurt very often. But here is what I learned:
1. I really hate relying on others. Staying down is SOOOOO hard for me. I hate to ask for help. So this was challenging. But it was so necessary. I reinjured my ankle after it started getting better, and had to go back to resting. I just couldn't do it. We were too busy. Then I had a lacrosse banquet I was in charge of. And I spent two full days editing pictures and putting together a slideshow. Two full days not walking around. And VOILA, ankle so much improved. I guess rest is really important after all. And Jared was really helpful and helped with all the carpooling etc. It was so nice to be taken care of, even though I feel bad for being hurt.
2. In effort to not stand on my hurt foot and in effort to also not be a burden on my husband and still have food to eat, I ordered a bunch of cold pressed juices online and had them delivered to my house.
What a concept! Healthy green juices that were delicious and refreshing. I am glad for the discovery! We will continue to order and even found a local place that delivers twice per week.
3. There will always be roadblocks. So we just have to find ways to modify and still reach our goals. I didn't feel like I really achieved this. However, I am going to start doing TRX classes with my friends this week and I am sure I will have to modify a little bit. And I am going to bike and do the rowing machine since I can't run yet.
4. I really need to teach my kids to clean. We cancelled the cleaners for a little while. I just realized I am not doing them any favors by expecting so little out of them. We need to go back to our Monday chores on early out day.
5. I am SO thankful for my health! I cannot imagine how hard it would be to be hurt all of the time. I hate walking so slow and being so inefficient.
Sunday, May 01, 2016
Unfortunate Injury
I've been so lucky not to have spent much time being out with injuries. But in the past few years, I've experienced some set backs: Meniere's Disease had me down and out just about every other day puking my guts out or laying flat in bed for four months straight. Fortunately I haven't had an episode in a really long time. Several months at least. Then I broke my collarbone on our last day in Hawaii a couple years ago. And last year was pneumonia and a misplaced rib or something that made it hard to breathe.
Anyway, I guess I was due. Because I sprained my ankle pretty badly about 10 days ago.
The good news is it is feeling so much better. I think I am going to have to bike instead of running for the summer at least though. I was running down the sidewalk and didn't see a three-inch rock on the sidewalk. I landed on it and twisted my ankle. I felt a pop and it was immediately swollen.
I called Jared and we went in and had it x-rayed. Thankfully it wasn't broken. But there is some ligament damage for sure.
It is still bruised and swollen. But I am walking more normally now and not hobbling around at least. I forget how debilitating it is to be injured! Jared was great at taking care of things. But it is pretty boring to sit in bed. At first I thought I was going to catch up on some fun shows, but I found a lot of other things to do instead. Like blog.
Gross huh! The first was right after it happened. My foot wasn't swollen yet. At day 10, I still have a lot of bruising and swelling around the ankle. But my joint isn't as stiff and it isn't really painful. Just harder to walk.
One thing this ankle thing has taught me is that I need to be better at teaching my kids to clean up after themselves.
Anyway, I guess I was due. Because I sprained my ankle pretty badly about 10 days ago.
The good news is it is feeling so much better. I think I am going to have to bike instead of running for the summer at least though. I was running down the sidewalk and didn't see a three-inch rock on the sidewalk. I landed on it and twisted my ankle. I felt a pop and it was immediately swollen.
I called Jared and we went in and had it x-rayed. Thankfully it wasn't broken. But there is some ligament damage for sure.
It is still bruised and swollen. But I am walking more normally now and not hobbling around at least. I forget how debilitating it is to be injured! Jared was great at taking care of things. But it is pretty boring to sit in bed. At first I thought I was going to catch up on some fun shows, but I found a lot of other things to do instead. Like blog.
One thing this ankle thing has taught me is that I need to be better at teaching my kids to clean up after themselves.
Soren is 4
Soren turned four on Prom night!
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| I love this little picture of him in St. Maarten. He was in heaven with the water bottle and the ocean and sand. |
We celebrated with lacrosse games! Haha just kidding. We squished the aquarium in between those lacrosse games. And the aquarium is his favorite. This boy LOVES the ocean.
He loved his birthday balloons. And knowing we had super early games, I was smart and let him choose whatever kind of sugar cereal he wanted for his special birthday breakfast. I have learned a thing or two over the years.
We also baked a cake. Blue homemade cakes are our tradition now. He loves the baking. I don't even know if any of us ate the cake? It was the baking that was the best part! Miles was so cute and helped him on the Sunday afternoon the day after his birthday.
Grandma Goddard came over to help us celebrate. It was so fun to see her!
Soren got lots of Octonauts toys for his birthday. And Jake and the Neverland Pirates stuff. He also got a super cool bubble machine.
Soren is a VERY easy four-year-old. He rarely throws tantrums. He is pretty easy going for the most part. He understands if something is dangerous and doesn't want to do it. That makes my job of keeping him safe so much easier!
He gives the tightest hugs and tons and tons of kisses. He likes to lay on my soft tummy. :) He loves it when we take the stroller to preschool. He has just started playing with his friends on the street. He especially likes Cooper, who is just a week younger than him and lives down the street.
He is so affectionate. As the baby of the family he can get a little smothered sometimes.
Soren loves getting dressed up for church, having his haircut, and new clothes and shoes. He especially loves bowties.
He is a little bit quieter than Miles and Simone were, but he isn't shy. He loves to do things by himself. The other day I told him to ask the cashier at a restaurant to give him two spoons. He went right up and asked for them. And he felt proud of himself. It was cute.
He loves to bake. His favorite is bread. We make bread on Sundays for our church class most weeks. He watches the wheat grinder and tells me when I need to put in more wheat "seeds."
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Elise
We were sitting and talking in my room, and I snapped this picture, because. I don't even need to explain why. Elise is such a beautiful person. Inside and out. I love her wit and humor. She is thoughtful and so great at thinking before she speaks. She is a quiet leader. She isn't one to draw attention to herself. I love being her mom. Is this the little baby that used to look up at me and touch my face and smile? That used to melt my heart. It has been so long since those days. I can hardly believe that I only have another couple years before she graduates. Crazy.
Springtime in the Yard
We were welcomed home by bees, blue skies, and blossoms. Jared ordered a new cool Flow beehive and a colony of bees. Travis has done beekeeping before, so he helped Jared set up the hives in the backyard while we were on the trip.
It was a beautiful few days before it got really cold again. Apparently the warm weather would be disastrous for the water issues and potential flooding. So even though I am missing those 70 degree days, I can deal with some rainy spring weather.
I love our yard when the Canadian Chokecherries are blooming. Nothing smells so nice! And lots of my flowers are taking root and getting plenty of water. I planted lots and lots of purple Aubrieta this year. And I planted Kale and some pansies in the pots on the front porch because I couldn't handle their emptiness. The deer ate some of the pansies and ranunculus. But they didn't even like the Kale. All my peonies are coming up great too. Hopefully I get some pretty flowers this year!
My little corner of the world may not be the Caribbean, but it is pretty great.
It was a beautiful few days before it got really cold again. Apparently the warm weather would be disastrous for the water issues and potential flooding. So even though I am missing those 70 degree days, I can deal with some rainy spring weather.
I love our yard when the Canadian Chokecherries are blooming. Nothing smells so nice! And lots of my flowers are taking root and getting plenty of water. I planted lots and lots of purple Aubrieta this year. And I planted Kale and some pansies in the pots on the front porch because I couldn't handle their emptiness. The deer ate some of the pansies and ranunculus. But they didn't even like the Kale. All my peonies are coming up great too. Hopefully I get some pretty flowers this year!
My little corner of the world may not be the Caribbean, but it is pretty great.
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| Someday Miles and Simone are going to see their siblings friends as major perks. :) |
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| Cute Friends! Love these girls. |
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| Bee Suits are pretty cute. |
Determination is a Beautiful Thing--Monet's Race
Track season was a lot of fun this year! Monet came into the season with more experience and confidence. She knew what she was capable of and had some big goals.
One of her goals was to beat the school record in the 800m and the mile.
Alpine Days is the big district track meet of the season, and Monet qualified for 4 events, the most you are allowed.
She was pretty excited! She ran track with some of her best friends and loved hanging out with them at meets.
In the previous track meets of the season, she beat her 7th-grade times. Her fastest mile was a 5:45. In the post season Track club from last summer in 2015 she only ran the 1500, 100 m shy of the mile. She also ran the 800 several times. But the timing got messed up a couple times and we didn't know her true time. This season her fastest 800 was a 2:36 She finished that race and felt like she had some energy left and could have gone faster.
Monet tends to be on the conservative side with her goals. And the Jr. High track teams aren't all that rigorous in their training. So a lot of her times could be much faster with the track club training or a little more individual attention. But it is what it is and she had a great time!
Alpine Days is a two-day meet. She ran the 400m and the mile the first day. The second day she ran the 800 and the mile relay. We tried to talk her out of the 400 because the event that she is best at is the mile. And we knew the 400 would take some energy away and it is always nice to have fresh legs when you are trying to PR. But she REALLY wanted to do the 400. She had only run it one time at a meet, and she did great, but it was definitely harder for her to do well on the 800 afterward in that previous meet. Her 800 time that day was more than 15 seconds slower.
Anyway, she insisted on running the 400 with full effort and ended up with a 1:06 time and sixth place overall in the district! Her mile time she came in second place in the district with a 5:45 time. The girl who beat her was the same girl as last year and her mom is the coach for another track team. Monet was disappointed that she didn't get a PR, or win. She was ahead for the last two laps of the race with the other girl pacing carefully right behind her. The last half lap the other girl basically sprinted in. They both did so great. But it was so disappointing for Monet.
The 800 was the following day and Monet had renewed determination that she was going to beat her school record this time. It was fun to have a goal to shoot for!
She paced herself just perfectly and she pulled it off! She got 2:33 at Alpine Days. Personal Record for herself, School Record, and first place as well. Her face just lit up when she finished and she saw that she reached her goals.
We were super excited for her. Determination is a beautiful thing. It is so great to see goals achieved.
Here is her race! It is pretty fun to watch. Click the youtube link below.
https://youtu.be/A1RJZ677V1w
One of her goals was to beat the school record in the 800m and the mile.
Alpine Days is the big district track meet of the season, and Monet qualified for 4 events, the most you are allowed.
She was pretty excited! She ran track with some of her best friends and loved hanging out with them at meets.
In the previous track meets of the season, she beat her 7th-grade times. Her fastest mile was a 5:45. In the post season Track club from last summer in 2015 she only ran the 1500, 100 m shy of the mile. She also ran the 800 several times. But the timing got messed up a couple times and we didn't know her true time. This season her fastest 800 was a 2:36 She finished that race and felt like she had some energy left and could have gone faster.
Monet tends to be on the conservative side with her goals. And the Jr. High track teams aren't all that rigorous in their training. So a lot of her times could be much faster with the track club training or a little more individual attention. But it is what it is and she had a great time!
Alpine Days is a two-day meet. She ran the 400m and the mile the first day. The second day she ran the 800 and the mile relay. We tried to talk her out of the 400 because the event that she is best at is the mile. And we knew the 400 would take some energy away and it is always nice to have fresh legs when you are trying to PR. But she REALLY wanted to do the 400. She had only run it one time at a meet, and she did great, but it was definitely harder for her to do well on the 800 afterward in that previous meet. Her 800 time that day was more than 15 seconds slower.
Anyway, she insisted on running the 400 with full effort and ended up with a 1:06 time and sixth place overall in the district! Her mile time she came in second place in the district with a 5:45 time. The girl who beat her was the same girl as last year and her mom is the coach for another track team. Monet was disappointed that she didn't get a PR, or win. She was ahead for the last two laps of the race with the other girl pacing carefully right behind her. The last half lap the other girl basically sprinted in. They both did so great. But it was so disappointing for Monet.
The 800 was the following day and Monet had renewed determination that she was going to beat her school record this time. It was fun to have a goal to shoot for!
She paced herself just perfectly and she pulled it off! She got 2:33 at Alpine Days. Personal Record for herself, School Record, and first place as well. Her face just lit up when she finished and she saw that she reached her goals.
We were super excited for her. Determination is a beautiful thing. It is so great to see goals achieved.
Here is her race! It is pretty fun to watch. Click the youtube link below.
https://youtu.be/A1RJZ677V1w
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