I decided that I need to write down my tender mercies more often! I used to blog more and it really helped me focus on the good happy things that were happening in our lives and I felt a lot of satisfaction from that. It helped me appreciate all the blessings we have.
There have been certain times when I was blessed with something so specific to me that I knew it was a little gift send to help me through whatever it was that I was struggling with at the time. It was clear to me in many of these moments that it was directly from God. And other times I didn't see the blessing for what it was until much later.
But here is my list of Tender Mercies that I KNOW were sent at a specific time.
1. Heavenly Father answers all of my prayers. In high school I struggled somewhat with my testimony. I didn't always KNOW the church was true. But at one point I was very consistent with my prayers and I started realizing that EVERYTHING I asked for was given to me. I didn't ask for huge things. And some were silly. Like let me see that cute boy after class again. lol. But I realized that during this period Heavenly Father was showing me that there was a direct connection between the two of us, and it was obvious.
2. Fun Friends. After the fatal car accident, I was depressed and having a hard time with my grief. My faith was shaken badly. I didn't know if God was there. We had one horrible night of racking sobs and frustrations with life. I was heartbroken and in despair. It was a dance night and all my friends were out. I had not been asked. (which was fine I went to lots of dances, but this night was hard to be alone). The next day, a guy I thought was really cute called and asked me to come sledding. I knew right away this was a gift. We didn't really ever date, date, but we had tons of fun and adventures and it helped me so much to get my mind off of all the heavy feelings I had following the accident.
3. Russia. There were so many times in Russia that I was blessed. I never identified any specific thing that happened there are a tender mercy. But I know I was watched over by guardian angels. They saved me from death by icicles. That little tiny room on Cerafimovicha is where I had the most spiritual experience of my life. Its how I know that Heavenly Father LOVES me.
4. Life with Jared. So Jared and I met a few weeks after I found out my parents were getting divorced. I never intended to get married at 19. But when he came into my life at a time when my family was being dissected, I was so happy for his love and to be able to have him. He knew all about divorce and was so sweet and so supportive of me. I loved his commitment and his kindness. I am really glad that I met the right person at an unexpected yet perfect time.
5. Scholarship. When Miles got really sick with ITP, I was having a hard time sleeping. I was feeling so helpless, frustrated, angry, all of those things. He had lots of bruises all over, he had just learned to walk and I was instructed to bring him in for an CT scan whenever he hit his head to check for a brain bleed. This was comical, and even impossible, not to mention incredibly expensive. Active toddlers hit their head often! And you start noticing a lot more when you have to notice and it is STRESSFUL. Like how can I do this? Yet I don't want to put my kid in danger? So we could not take him to any babysitters. We had him all the time. No nursery, no gym daycare. We put a helmet on. If nothing else it prevented his bruises. Which was good because when people saw his bruises and I imagined they were judging me to be an abuser and that was kinda sad. I wore him in a backpack. I had him in his highchair. Anything to keep him from tripping and hitting his head. We went from one baby gear item to the next. And I was worn out. But sometime that spring after his platelets had recovered a bit, I received a letter in the mail telling me I had been awarded a scholarship. Which was HUGE. Because I really wanted that degree. Every semester I would register for classes, and then drop them when I realized there was still no money for school. I was so glad to have the scholarship and to be able to finish my degree. I know right away that scholarship was a little tender mercy. I loved what I learned in school and feel that it really helped shape me.
6. Trades. We went through a really awful financial crisis in 2008 and were so broke. But I felt incredibly blessed by the trades that we were able to make with our business. It helped us be able to "spend" trade on things that we couldn't have afforded otherwise: piano lessons, voice lessons, waterparks, plays, gifts, photography, even food. I think there was one solid month when we ate mostly the food from our gift baskets that we got on trade!
7. Visiting Teacher. When we moved to Highland, we moved to a ward that was enormous. It had the biggest primary in the world at one point. There were so many kids. Right away we were called to nursery. Problem was there were no rooms. so they put us in a closet room. No toys, food, chairs, tables, etc were provided. Just one very small empty room. It was harder than I expected to not know anyone and to start all over. No one knew my name or who I was. And that was surprisingly hard. But we tried to make the most of it and we brought lots of fun stuff from home. We got to play with Simone, etc. One day a woman comes in and we start talking and I find out she is my new visiting teacher. I LOVE her! She and I talk and find out we have so much in common. She asks me to run with her in the mornings, and invites me to the babysitting co-op. It totally changed everything for me and was the biggest help. And right after that our ward split and I got called to be a primary teacher. But I know that VT assignment was no coincidence!
8. I was running the Red Rock Relay with Jared and a few couples from our neighborhood in 2010. We had a pretty fast team and we had an early start time. So if you are familiar with relays, the fastest teams usually have later start times and the slower teams have earlier so that everyone completes the race in the specified time. Anyway, usually you are running with other people in relays. Or at least see people every few hundred yards. But in this race there was no one around. We were leading the whole race. That means cars don't know to watch out for runners. It also meant facing a big fear of mine which is running at night alone. After being attacked on the street when I was a kid I just don't like being alone at night. Well, this night I was running through the desert near St George. Not realizing that we were heading into a very deserted stretch, my van had gone to find gas. I was alone on a moonless night. It was pitch black aside from a car here and there. Then, my headlamp went out because the battery died. I was panicked and terrified. Crying terrified. I said a prayer and my headlamp turned back on. It worked until the second I passed the wristband to the next runner at the following exchange, which was probably about an hour. The second I handed off, it went out for good. I felt watched over.
8. I was running the Red Rock Relay with Jared and a few couples from our neighborhood in 2010. We had a pretty fast team and we had an early start time. So if you are familiar with relays, the fastest teams usually have later start times and the slower teams have earlier so that everyone completes the race in the specified time. Anyway, usually you are running with other people in relays. Or at least see people every few hundred yards. But in this race there was no one around. We were leading the whole race. That means cars don't know to watch out for runners. It also meant facing a big fear of mine which is running at night alone. After being attacked on the street when I was a kid I just don't like being alone at night. Well, this night I was running through the desert near St George. Not realizing that we were heading into a very deserted stretch, my van had gone to find gas. I was alone on a moonless night. It was pitch black aside from a car here and there. Then, my headlamp went out because the battery died. I was panicked and terrified. Crying terrified. I said a prayer and my headlamp turned back on. It worked until the second I passed the wristband to the next runner at the following exchange, which was probably about an hour. The second I handed off, it went out for good. I felt watched over.
10. doTERRA. Did I write this here already? I sometimes think about the path that led us to doTERRA and I know God had a hand in it. September 2008 Jared signed up for doTERRA. I wasn't excited about it. He had been involved with other MLM companies and I didn't like them. But I loved the oils, and I figured at least he was learning skills that would help our family learn how to use oils. I figured it was as good a hobby as any. November all of the companies we sold products for changed their restrictions on the certificates or just plain did not honor the ones we had just ordered. We were so stressed. We were left with thousands of dollars of products that were useless to us and our customers. So Jared applies for a job--which is akin to admitting defeat and hard in and of itself. He tells his friend about the job. His friend gets the job and he does not. I am heartbroken because we are broke and we need things like food and money. I think he is foolish for telling his friend and am generally frustrated. Later that month he introduces doTERRA as his focus at his business networking group. I am very blessed to have some friends call me and hire me as their realtor. Which really eases some of my fears about the future. But I am still having very difficult days from time to time. Jared is a champ and we try to rescue each other and at least trade off having bad days. But one day was bad, bad. And I was incredibly stressed and plead with God to please help us. A few days later, Peggy Smith from the networking group where Jared talked about the doTERRA oils calls Jared and says, "God told me to call you about those oils." Turns out her company shut down their direct sales line and she needed a new job. After interviewing a dozen or more companies she chose to join doTERRA. And within months of joining doTERRA she had replaced her other income, and become a founder. During this time I saw our checks grow and it made me realize that there was actually a business potential to this MLM. I always say Peggy made a believer out of me. And that is in more ways than one.
I have daily little tender mercies as well. Sometimes it is a beautiful view or a sunset or just a really good day with my kids. I am going to do better at recording those. I think my little solo this month was a tender mercy. But writing these down made me realize that through all of the hardships that life brings, I've always had a loving Father to help me through. I know that without a doubt, he knows me and hears me.
