Context

I love to know the circumstances around how people are shaped and why they do the things they do.
And in some cases, how to have healthier relationships and to overcome past triggers, hurts etc.

It is Veterans Day today and I've spent most of the day online researching my family members from Europe.  We went to Adelaide's blessing and at sacrament meeting in Springville got to hear the best talks from veterans.  I want to know the stories of our families WWI veterans.

Artur was my mom's grandfather who served as an officer in the German army during WWI.  At home waiting for him were his wife Sophie and his two young sons Erich and Bruno.

Artur was killed by a sniper while shaving in the forest.  Apparently his mirror caught a glint of light and gave away his position.  At the time, his older son Erich was 10.

Artur's family lived in Karlsruhe.  The area was heavily bombed during the war and at one point a bomb hit a circus tent and killed around 70 children and 50 adults.  Sophie later wrote about that incidence that she was so grateful that she was inspired to keep the boys home that day.  I can only imagine how tragic that must have been, even when their own family was unhurt.

I don't know a lot about my grandpa Erich.  But he and his brother both developed type 1 diabetes.  They had severe hardship with not much food during the war.  At one point my grandma told me that they had to go outside the city and dig around in gardens to try to find turnips or other root vegetables that the army had not taken.  My mom remembers something about the boys being sent away at some point because it was too dangerous to live where they were because of the bombing.

At some point Sophie and her boys joined the church.  She had a dream about a church among the skyscrapers and knew it had to be in the United States. One day a salesman came by selling metal plates to nail on the kids shoes.  She invited him to eat with them and when she prayed over their food he was surprised and was happy to see that there were people in the world who still believed.  He invited her to come to his church and she was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in 1919.

Erich later attended college and studied horticulture before emigrating to the US in 1927 and residing in Utah with an LDS family where he worked in exchange for his passage to the US.  He married my grandma in 1937 during the Great Depression when he was 32 and she was 28.  Which seems kinda old for both of them for that generation and I'd like to know more about that.  Two years after their marriage WWII started.  They had four children within 10 years and my grandma had several miscarriages (which she described to me somewhat nonchalantly in great detail. I think one was at a movie theater.  Lol I guess in those days loss was more common)

After immigrating to the US he made wreaths for Hotel Utah, and had an interest in Photography.  He had to work for a long time for the family that helped him get his boat passage to come to the US.  He later owned nurseries and did landscaping for his career.  I've been told that he wasn't happy with how his career in Horticulture was not as prestigious in the US as it was in Germany.

He died before I was born from complications from diabetes.  He had lost his sight and his legs and apparently didn't control his blood sugar well.  It looks to me like he did a lot of family history and temple work.

The fact that he died before I was born was always a curiosity for me.  I wanted to know more about him.  We didn't have a lot of extended family.  When I'd ask my sweet grandma who lived with me growing up if she missed her husband, she'd say, "He had a German temper."  Lol.  I took that to mean, "No."  Grandma was a peacemaker and pretty low-key and positive.  So I think she probably had some good reasons.

And somehow that makes me sad.  This is a person who obviously had some early trauma and serious health conditions as well.  Those things can really influence a persons demeanor and It is kinda interesting to me how he would have been if he hadn't had those hardships in his life.

I someday would like to go to Karlsruhe and Baden Baden and visit where they lived and see what it is like in Germany.  I would like to know more of his story.  Why he left Germany for the US.  I would like to know more about what it was like after the Great War.

He and my grandma kept in touch with his mother and brother and would send them packages during or maybe just after WW2.  Things like sugar, chocolate, and a suit for work.  What would it be like to know that your family was on the other side of that war?  That would be very difficult.

Taking the Bull by the Horns

Simone had this great exercise given to her by her climbing coach last night.  It was a Google doc and basically had their goals for the season and also some direction to change their negative thoughts to positive ones.  Overhearing the kids say things like, "I'm not good at redpoint comps" etc they would  change it to say something positive as a way to "train the brain."

I loved that they did this!  It made me wonder what I can do to train my brain.  I've been struggling lately with meeting the many emotional and physical needs that we are having in our family these past few months.

It has been so great to have all the kids in school, and yet each night I'm driving Simone to climbing and spending several hours of my evening doing that stuff.  My time during the day has been really stretched too because of obligations that I didn't used to have.

So, its challenging.  And I don't have the greatest control over my attitude sometimes.  I get down about buying clothes and finding things I like.  I know that in many ways I just need to "take the bull by the horns" and change what I don't like.  This is my life and I need to feel like I can direct it to be what I want.

My friend has been inviting me to come to these exercise classes with her.  They are hard.  They are early.  But I am loving it so much!  Praying that I keep feeling great and the vertigo stays away.

I am motivated by watching my kids practice and improve at their sports.  Simone started climbing 1 year ago.  In the past year she has made such huge improvements!  It makes me wonder what kind of progress I can make in a year.

Over the past few years, my own exercise and nutrition needs have pretty much been put on the back burner.  I just have a lot to juggle at this point in my life and it felt very overwhelming to me to try to get up early to work out and try to get through the day tired when I have to go go go all day long.  I get thrown off by travel and health problems (mostly Menieres disease) as well.  But honestly I'm feeling like it is totally doable now!

Anyway,  I have a long way to go to get to where I feel healthy and like myself again, but I'm patient and I enjoy it and I feel like that is who I am at my core.  I like to be active and I love feeling strong and being able to progress in my running, workouts, etc.

So anyway, I'm happy for some good friends who are supportive of me being active.  My hiking group, Katie (always such a motivator to me!) and Tonya who is always asking me to come to class.  Carla who keeps texting me to take our dogs for a hike.  I'm so lucky to be surrounded by these awesome friends.  I need this connection and the support.