Well, "normal" didn't last too long over here. Such is 2020!
To be honest, this pandemic has been pretty hard. Nothing is normal. Even if we think we are getting a little semblance of it, it doesn't last.
The older girls are in college now. Which was unexpectedly heartbreaking. I'm so excited for them! I'm so lucky they are close. And yet, it is really hard to let go. They are still my babies. I still want to wrap them in bubble wrap and make sure nothing bad ever happens, and yet I know I can't. Life isn't meant to be lived that way. And the hard parts are what shape us into who we are. All the hard things I went through at their age, I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. I learned what I was made of. I gained confidence in myself and became stronger. Also, I miss them! I miss hearing about their day. I don't want to be annoying and call every second. But I just didn't get quite enough time with them both after Elise got home.
Anyway, I'm working on it!
And who am I now? Although I've still got three kids at home, we don't have the busy pace we are used to. And I'm feeling kinda stagnant. Like now that I have all this time on my hands, I need to figure out who I am and what I'm doing with the rest of my life. I love being a stay at home mom. I loved the different jobs I had when I was younger, but my heart was at home and I only really did those things so that I could spend more time at home, or so we could have a better life. I know that my husband would always support me in whatever endeavor I wanted to try. But being home is what I've always loved and we don't need another income. Now I'm feeling like I need to set some of my own goals again. So in the next couple months I'm going to work on renewing my real estate license. It's flexible enough that when things get busy again I won't feel burdened.
I've been making a mental list of projects and skills I want to learn. I'm inspired by my friends who have gone back to school, work, etc. I always loved working when I was younger. And it sounds kinda fun to have my own thing.
I've never worried too much about social media or felt bad because of it. I enjoy seeing what other people are doing. But I'm getting tired of it. So I've been hoping that will help me get out of this funk. Spending time in the present and doing things with my time that give me results and something concrete sounds good right now.
